


that was love and it's an ache i still remember

by Correnteza



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26344882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Correnteza/pseuds/Correnteza
Summary: Sadness is a cycle.
Relationships: Cat Valentine/Jade West, Tori Vega/Jade West
Comments: 17
Kudos: 122





	that was love and it's an ache i still remember

**Author's Note:**

> You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness, like resignation to the end, always the end.

**_But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember_ **

  
  
  


“His name is Christopher,” the redhead said proudly of her only son, her smile only briefly faltering when the other woman interrupted her before she could finish her sentence.

“After Christopher Robin, yeah, I get it,” Jade’s voice was flat as she studied her childhood best friend and the girl she'd shared her first kiss with, and so many others. They had spent so many nights on the rooftops higher than the stars, cuddled up under a fleece blanket as they passed a blunt back and forth. Giggles and smoke had both floated from Cat’s sweet lips, begging Jade to kiss her just one more time. 

Jade had just been a stepping stone, however, a cobble on the path to her happy life, she reflected with more than a drop of bitterness. A life with a boyfriend, who later became a husband, and now their children, who Jade had never even met before. The midnight haired woman could still remember her best friend calling her in a panic the night he had proposed because she couldn’t see herself ever marrying him, could still taste salty tears on her lips. How funny the passage of time warps things. How infuriating how half a dozen  _ no _ ’s had been buffeted and smoothed down to a  _ yes _ .

“Look, I need to get going,” Jade gestured to the time with fingers that were just shy of trembling with emotion, setting her empty mug on the table and rising. She felt obligated to say it had been nice catching up, but that seemed to be the difference between them, she couldn’t let a lie pass her lips so easily when those sweet eyes were boring into her own. “Take care of yourself, Cat.” The redhead’s promise to call or text soon fell on deaf ears. Their message chains on social media were full of unread messages from Jade, and it was time to finally let the suffering beast of their friendship die. Cat had only called her over to let her know how happy she was without Jade in her life, and she had more than made her point.

She walked to her car alone, perhaps already forgotten about once the door had closed behind her. It had been foolish to think things could have been the same, could have ever blossomed between them. Full lips that once had been for practicing sweet, languid kisses trembled as she settled into the driver’s seat. “No,” she told herself quietly. Jade West wouldn’t cry, even when she was mourning her best friend, a loss that had occured years before but only truly hit now. Cat’s favorite game had always been house, and now she found someone to play with forever, so she could leave her past behind, no matter who she discarded in the process.

Sadness was a cycle, she told herself as her lips fell against Tori’s that evening, as her body crumbled to the sheets under the other woman’s touch. It came in waves, she mentally recited as nails dug into her hips and left tangible proof of desire in neat crescents. The first were intense and cold, but shallow. She was able to get used to their impacts the way she was able to get used to slender fingers setting her ablaze, to full lips closing on her hammering pulse. She was able to lower herself and let them roll over her, the way Tori’s tongue made her hips roll slowly. It was the build up she was familiar with, only to be laid raw when the real impact hit with high tide. 

Her cheeks were damp as she came undone, her body arching and chest heaving as her nails clutched tan shoulders. Tan arms wrapped around her trembling form, the silent sobs muffled where a soft neck met a sharp shoulder. No, Jade didn’t cry when she mourned, she crumbled and she roared, violent and breathless as she drowned. Her body twisted in the sheet, her lover pressed to her back to keep her grounded on earth until she learned to breathe again. Coffee brown eyes watched a trembling hand pick up her cellphone and navigate to Cat’s page before a pale finger tapped  _ block, _ hammering the final nail into the coffin.


End file.
